balance
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Well here we are
Hi guys, I know I’ve been absent here for a while, and in the meantime the world has been turned upside down. I just wanted to let you know I’ve started a second blog at coronavirusdiary.net as an immediate response to these uncertain times. I began it earlier this week when my hometown of San Francisco announced a “shelter in place” order, and life as we knew it changed (albeit temporarily) in ways that I never imagined. I’ll still be posting here when I can, and actually have a couple of things already drafted that I’ve been working on over the last month or so, so make sure to check…
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Sunrise, sunset
There’s something subtly melancholy about a sunset, regardless of how glorious it may be. It makes me think of the lyrics to “Taps”, that summer camp staple: “Day is done/Gone the sun”. Done and gone. There is a finality about it, a closing. I like to think that I’m at peace with the cyclical nature of the universe, the waxing and waning, the rise and fall, the expansion and contraction. But the fact that sunsets often bring me to the verge of tears is a visceral reminder that I’m not. Endings are hard. The end of a beautiful day, the end of a fulfilling project, the end of a relationship,…
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Out of sorts
Do you every find yourself in a state of irritation that is wholly out of proportion to the irritant? Yesterday morning at the airport I was standing in a long baggage drop line, and after 15 minutes of waiting I was almost at the counter. An airline representative walking by told me that I’d need to go to the Special Services counter (I’ll spare you the long story involving an airline policy change I wasn’t aware of), and further that I’d need to go to the end of that (equally long) line. This information was offered to me with a dismissive “oh, there are only a few people ahead of…
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Weighty Matters
In 2012 I was fresh off a summer tour with Sting, starting to get some really interesting guest conducting opportunities, living with a loving husband in a beautiful house in a great neighborhood; life, by all outward accounts, looked good. I was also clinically underweight, eating less than half the calories I needed for baseline bodily functions every day, suffering from amenorrhea and hating everything about my physical being. This post isn’t meant to be a précis about eating disorders – that information is available elsewhere, and it doesn’t feel right to me to speak of other people’s experiences, as I can barely comprehend my own. Suffice it to say…
- adventure, balance, California living, mental health, mindfulness, musician life, running, self care, travel
Reboot!
Did you know that America is the only advanced economy that doesn’t guarantee paid vacation? Think of what most European countries get – 20-something days in addition to national holidays, so a total around 34 days – and you realize what a raw deal we get. For those of us who are independent contractors, however, it can be a different story. While I try to maximize my work (given that I have no guaranteed assurance of future gigs), it conversely also gives me some flexibility in my own time off. Those of you who follow my various social media that I’ve had a particularly busy season, often on the road…
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Independence Day Musings
I just watched a Fourth of July fireworks show from the window of my hotel room. It was at quite a distance, and the sky was a bit smoky already, but well, it was something. I guess. Sigh. For some reason today I’ve found it hard not to feel a little…grinchy…? I can’t think of a better way to express it. I felt annoyed at the people at the airport adorned in red white and blue garb, at the airline lounges serving barbeque and lemonade. I mean, fireworks are making me surly. So I’ve taken a step back to give myself the space to think it through. I end up…
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Life on edge, part 1
I am a very, very anxious person. There, I’ve said it. And when I say that, I mean all day, every day, since I was a young child; worrying, ruminating, convinced that something is just on the verge of going wrong. It’s not really environmentally related – I mean, yes, I get uncomfortable on particularly turbulent flights, but what I’m talking about is an underlying baseline state of dis-ease that has always been with me. My anxiety manifests as an inexplicable sense of existential dread that has no practical explanation. And for my ordered and rational brain, the fact that I can’t reason my anxiety out of existence is both…
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Tick Tock
I was in Dublin a few weeks back working with the RTE National Symphony Orchestra. An afternoon off afforded me a few hours to take in St. Patrick’s Cathedral and Trinity College and a handful of other highlights. Although the major sights were nice, it was a chance encounter that ended up being the most meaningful visit of the day. Searching for a caffeine hit I turned down a promising road but instead of a coffee shop I found the National Library; a sign told me that it housed a free W.B Yeats exhibit. I love Yeats and I love free stuff, so I wandered in. It was a beautifully…
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The glamorous life
I was in Belgium a month ago conducting concerts with the Antwerp Symphony. I’d never been to Antwerp before, and was delighted to discover a city of beautiful architecture (Central Station), exquisite art (Rubens) and delectable food (moules frites and waffles). The orchestra was great, and their schedule was such that I had enough time to make the hour long trip to Bruges, which was utterly charming, if overrun by tourists. On a sunny Saturday morning I set out for a run in the brisk autumn air of Stadtpark. And on the afternoon before my last concert I had time to troll the city for the best chocolate boutiques to…
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Some trees would do you good
There has been quite a bit written about forest bathing in the last several years – and, no, it’s not about plunging into an outdoor spring (although that’s actually pretty awesome), but rather bathing in the atmosphere of a forest. A Japanese movement that began in the 80’s, shinrin-yoku is a timely reminder for us city dwellers of the importance of connecting to the natural world. Time spent in nature has shown to boost the immune system, decrease stress and blood pressure, and to contribute to a better overall sense of wellness. Wellness is something I could use these days. As you’ve probably gathered from my previous post, I’ve been…