Positive payback

When I started my career as a conductor, I was fresh out of conservatory and newly married.  I was teaching part time at Curtis and working for a small regional orchestra near Philly and doing the odd little gigs that came in.  Paul and I made maybe $25K between the two of us, didn’t have health insurance and barely had two pennies to rub together.  We were starving young musicians in all senses.

I remember throughout those very lean early years that though money was tight, I didn’t want to completely curtail my social life, particularly the relaxing ritual of the post-concert drink.  And on many occasions, after a cocktail or two with a friend more established in the music business, the bill – of which I had every intention of paying my part – would be pulled out of my hands and taken care of.

I never expected to have older colleagues or mentors treat me to drinks (and sometimes even meals), but I was grateful for their generosity.  These gestures of kindness not only kept me financially afloat but buoyed my spirit as well – it’s nice to feel taken care of sometimes, and to know that you have support as you try to make your way in the world (and in a difficult business).  And although of course I thanked my generous friends I’ve always wondered if I was able to express how much it meant to me.

Last week I went on a state tour with the Vermont Symphony –  7 concerts in 8 days, each in a different town in Vermont.  Tours can be a lot of fun, particularly if you have good company, but life on the road has its quirks, including eating out for every meal, which calls for a little advanced planning and some sound budgeting.

I was lucky enough to spend much of my travel time (we drove at least an hour a day) with the fantastic young violinist Ruben Rengel, who was the soloist on my program.

As we ended up hanging out together a great deal, we had a lot of drinks and meals together.  I picked up the bill a lot – I mean, it’s reflexive.  He’s 22, finishing up school, and just starting his career; I’m an in-demand mid-career conductor who’s been doing this for over two decades.

And I realized that this is exactly how I’m maintaining balance in the karmic universe; it’s not so much about expressing gratitude to those who helped me as it is about making those small gestures that help future generations.  It’s not about about payback, but paying it forward.  And I find it deeply soul-satisfying to do my own little part to support the journey of someone who has dedicated his life to creating joy and beauty.

A reminder for all of us to keep the spirit of generosity and collegiality alive in what can sometimes be a parsimonious and unfriendly world!